2006 pass fast
Hahaha... I think I made decision fast enough to come back and write confidently here...
Well this year is really rocky...
There was the "accidental" drinking of listerning that made me puked more furious than the Singapore merlion mascot... Then came a serious decision, after about a month of "the listerine drinker", to break up with patrick. The reason was... mmm .... ~whatever! I've already forgotten it. should be a lame one~ Anyway... I later found out that he cut himself for every one day that I'm not with him.
There was also a lot of not understanding what the lecturers were trying to teach in class for the whole of semester 1, did projects that didn't work even to the slightest requirement... totally flunk my thesis paper... put myself in even more stress and messed up my life ever more. I copied a lot of work too, they also got me into more trouble. Well.. it seems that the messier my life becomes the happier I get! Subconciously that is. Not sure what's the real reason but yes... I did think that I was going mad at that point of time... and now, as I try to recall my year I still think I was mad!
After all that madness, I just wanted to stay indoors myself, alone, pray and just simply listen. This is also when I got conned by a china chinese operated facial salon to purchase a package. I really have listened... and I listened too much......
That salon didn't have a safe conning sail though... I called the police to report their under hand means of operating business when they tried another trick on me... Although after that, I never went there anymore... but they still succeeded digging some gold out of me since now that I have boycotted them.
Anyway as the second half of the year started... I could not listened any more... I tried though... but hear nothing... Looked but see nothing... Touched and felt nothing. It was a cross between the existance and non existance... The guardian gods, the living and the dead, all exist in my world, my vision. There was "dua beh gong" and dead chicken souls watching each other, both were careful with each's step. A wrong move and the loser'll face the death after death. The living unconcerned about all this happennings, except me being disturbed by it. I hate-love my abilities.
Things started to get better after the almost ship-wrecking half year... I started praying almost every morning and evening during my travel from places to places... sometimes I prayed for peace within and it was immediately answered... I was so in peace and equilibrum with myself that I fall asleep.
Now that I have gathered enough strength, resentment, courage, agony, anger, incubated them to full blown actions to free my inner unrest, I have decided to plan my leave with my current job to enter into a new field. That is to learn how to resolve problems as they arise and not let them make me lose my sanity as what had happened in the year. If you are smart enough with the little evidance that I've written here... U know where I'm heading & can easily find me.
P/S: I have created another blog spere to hold the entries that I had some guilt entering them here... they were still of the dying style which I think I had too much of them in here... http://angel-ansc.blogspot.com/
PSS: I've found my very 1st blog that I have created... it's only got 4 entries and the pictures can't be displayed... but it has a very calming entry in there. check this out! http://dunaskme.blogspot.com/
Well this year is really rocky...
There was the "accidental" drinking of listerning that made me puked more furious than the Singapore merlion mascot... Then came a serious decision, after about a month of "the listerine drinker", to break up with patrick. The reason was... mmm .... ~whatever! I've already forgotten it. should be a lame one~ Anyway... I later found out that he cut himself for every one day that I'm not with him.
There was also a lot of not understanding what the lecturers were trying to teach in class for the whole of semester 1, did projects that didn't work even to the slightest requirement... totally flunk my thesis paper... put myself in even more stress and messed up my life ever more. I copied a lot of work too, they also got me into more trouble. Well.. it seems that the messier my life becomes the happier I get! Subconciously that is. Not sure what's the real reason but yes... I did think that I was going mad at that point of time... and now, as I try to recall my year I still think I was mad!
After all that madness, I just wanted to stay indoors myself, alone, pray and just simply listen. This is also when I got conned by a china chinese operated facial salon to purchase a package. I really have listened... and I listened too much......
That salon didn't have a safe conning sail though... I called the police to report their under hand means of operating business when they tried another trick on me... Although after that, I never went there anymore... but they still succeeded digging some gold out of me since now that I have boycotted them.
Anyway as the second half of the year started... I could not listened any more... I tried though... but hear nothing... Looked but see nothing... Touched and felt nothing. It was a cross between the existance and non existance... The guardian gods, the living and the dead, all exist in my world, my vision. There was "dua beh gong" and dead chicken souls watching each other, both were careful with each's step. A wrong move and the loser'll face the death after death. The living unconcerned about all this happennings, except me being disturbed by it. I hate-love my abilities.
Things started to get better after the almost ship-wrecking half year... I started praying almost every morning and evening during my travel from places to places... sometimes I prayed for peace within and it was immediately answered... I was so in peace and equilibrum with myself that I fall asleep.
Now that I have gathered enough strength, resentment, courage, agony, anger, incubated them to full blown actions to free my inner unrest, I have decided to plan my leave with my current job to enter into a new field. That is to learn how to resolve problems as they arise and not let them make me lose my sanity as what had happened in the year. If you are smart enough with the little evidance that I've written here... U know where I'm heading & can easily find me.
P/S: I have created another blog spere to hold the entries that I had some guilt entering them here... they were still of the dying style which I think I had too much of them in here... http://angel-ansc.blogspot.com/
PSS: I've found my very 1st blog that I have created... it's only got 4 entries and the pictures can't be displayed... but it has a very calming entry in there. check this out! http://dunaskme.blogspot.com/
posted by MADAXIS at 8:17 PM
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